My Holland, Author at EQuest Asia

Your Career Can Affect your Children

Compassion, Emotional Intelligence / My Holland

Undoubtedly, the career choices we make will affect our families. Now, because both parents are at work, children are either at school or in the care of babysitters. How has their development been affected? It’s a good question. You might be surprised to learn that most kids with working dads and moms turn out to be okay. According to this study, it doesn’t matter if mothers work during a child’s early years. As long as parents prioritize family over their jobs, it’s unlikely kids would exhibit behavioral problems. When dads and moms share responsibility in parenthood, the effects are positive. The research showed that their children, in fact, were emotionally healthy. No organization we know of requires employees to continue working after leaving the office or clocking out. But, the digital age has enabled parents to conveniently attend to work-related tasks from home. It’s their choice if they do so, by the way. When they do, they might be causing harm to their kids. “There are bills to pay and mouths to feed.” This has been the justification of breadwinners when they put career over their family. In fact, many will say they’ve given up their passion for jobs that paid well. Unhappy and stressed-out, they’re giving their kids the impression that money takes precedence over everything. Children see their parents as role models. Young minds are like sponges that absorb everything. A father’s psychological or emotional absence has a strong effect on children. This lack of engagement directly influences a child’s behavior. On the other hand, children are barely affected when mothers spend time on themselves and less on house chores. When housework is shared with partners, mothers have more significant time for their kids. The current pandemic has imposed changes in everybody’s lives. More people are working from home, which will be the norm even after a cure is found. The benefits for both employers and employees cannot be ignored. Just think of the savings from leasing less space and travel time saved. For parents, more quality time can be spent with their kids. So, how can mom and dad balance work and home life? Here are a few suggestions. Prepare any meal during the day. Eat at least one meal with the whole family. Never talk about work while eating. Instead, talk to the kids. Set aside time to speak individually with each child. Breaks when working remotely can be used to spend time with children. Read them a story, have fun with a coloring book or play catch. Turn off all gadgets, including the TV and PC. Always have a family day. Make it up with your child if you miss something important, like a game or a play. Never forget to say “I love you” to each member of your family. Having less time at home means using it wisely. The first step is to transition from a professional to a parent once we enter the door. It should be a conscious effort. Nurturing children doesn’t mean sacrificing one’s dreams. In fact, people with happy family lives are often successful in their careers. We may reach the top position in any organization, but there is always one constant – the family. Here’s an interesting article you should read. It’s a reminder of what really matters. You can achieve as much as you want in your career. Just don’t forget the kids.

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A Bit of Worry is Good

Awareness, Emotional Intelligence / My Holland

There so much to be anxious about nowadays. According to the World Bank, the world is in a recession and COVID-19 is not only keeping a lot of people in poverty but creating a new class of poor. The adverse economic effects may already be affecting you. Stuff you weren’t worried about a year ago might be taking center stage in your life now. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” is a Grammy Award-winning song by Bobby McFerrin. What would you think if you were told you can worry and be happy? You’d be skeptical, but honestly, this can be true for anybody. So, how about you turn the tables on anxiety? All you need to do is modify your thoughts and practice emotional intelligence. The causes and effects of worry There are medical conditions that give rise to anxiety. It’s not limited to the mind. A doctor may prescribe treatment that includes medication. On the other hand, external factors can cause anxiety. Stress at work, uncertainty, financial difficulties and relationships are examples. If left unchecked, these can dictate how you live your life. Sleepless nights, lack of focus, compulsiveness, nervousness, headaches and stomach pains are signs of an anxious person. In extreme cases, too much worry can become paralyzing. But, as you already know, inaction or reacting poorly to a situation often results from the mishandling of anxiety. How you deal with anxiety matters People cope with worries differently. Emotionally intelligent persons recognize the signs when they become anxious. They do not ignore their emotions but rather take stock of what they are feeling. Understanding leads to proper management of their worries. Here’s how they respond to anxiety. Anxiety as a Warning People have a built-in warning system primarily for survival. This can be traced back all the way to early humans. People with high EQ recognize that their anxiety might be telling them to exercise caution. Also, it might be alerting them to entirely avoid an act or a situation. How many times have you stopped yourself from entering a dark alley or an unknown environment because you started feeling apprehensive? Anxiety as Motivation Everyone worries about their health, especially during this pandemic. Emotionally intelligent people use anxiety as motivation. As a result, they exercise, observe health protocols and watch closely what they eat. They also motivate others to do the same. A survey of Asian-Pacific countries, published in May 2020, showed that most Vietnamese became more apprehensive because of the current pandemic. On the surface, this looked bad. But, the total COVID-19 cases in that nation were among the lowest in the region. In fact, Vietnam, which shares a long border with China, ranked 165th globally in case counts. It’s not a stretch to speculate that extreme worry played a role in driving the Vietnamese to act quickly and take drastic measures to contain the virus. A BBC article even stated that Vietnam’s overreaction saved the country from a full-blown outbreak. Anxiety encourages preparation Have you experienced stress before a meeting or an interview? Did it occur to you that you were worried because you were not fully prepared? When anxious, people with high EQ diligently prepare for any activity that has significance to their professional or personal lives. They don’t leave anything to chance. Conversely, in the event things don’t go their way, they are prepared for the worst. They accept failure and learn from it. It may even make them more anxious to do better in the future instead of wallowing in misery. Happy and successful people live with anxiety every day. But, they never let it control their lives. Don’t deny or ignore worry the next time you experience it. Instead, master and seek the good from it.

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Find the Authentic Leader in You

Leadership / My Holland

Authentic (adjective): of undisputed origin; real; genuine Leader (noun): head; chief; boss; superior You might or can be an authentic leader. I bet you didn’t know that. It’s not a new concept as it was first brought up as a leadership form in the 1960s. However, many claim that it can be traced back to ancient times. About two decades ago, Bill George and his colleagues decided to give it further study. The result is a book, Authentic Leadership that defined a new kind of leader. What is it then? It’s a leadership style that requires heads of organizations to be true to themselves and act accordingly in a real and genuine manner. Authentic leadership is an alternative approach to types that focus on profit. More organizations are promoting it, although it’s still an evolving concept that has yet to reach maturity. The characteristics of authentic leaders They are self-aware. They know themselves and regularly take stock of their strengths, beliefs, and principles. Authentic leaders understand what they value and what they live for. They acknowledge their weaknesses and shortcomings. Likewise, they are aware of how others perceive them. Authentic leaders are introspective. They look back at their successes and failures to learn from these. Their experiences define who they are and remind them that struggles are part of their journey. They are emotionally intelligent. Unsurprisingly, they also possess a high EQ. According to this, authentic leadership and emotional intelligence overlap. When faced with challenges, they remain composed. They do not let anger, frustration, or fear take hold of them. They also practice empathy. They are transparent. They are themselves at work. There’s no persona or public image on display. Expect them to be honest. In the same manner, they expect the same from their colleagues or subordinates. Critics of the concept argue that if authenticity requires transparency, why should authentic leaders hide their emotions. If they remain true to themselves, shouldn’t they express anger when they feel it, for instance? But, Bill George counters by stating that authentic leaders are aware of their words and actions’ possible adverse effects. In such situations, they choose not to show their emotions. They are persons with integrity. They do the right thing, no matter what. Aware that difficult situations demand hard decisions, authentic leaders will not set aside their moral values for the sake of expediency or profit. They are consistent and never flip-flop. They think of others and not of themselves alone. It’s no surprise employees hold authentic leaders in high esteem. They know they are being led by a principled person who also looks out for them. They’re committed to growth. Authentic leaders pursue growth for their companies, themselves, and their subordinates. They believe that achieving corporate goals should also benefit employees. Profit is not their only concern. They are guided by their vision and are undeterred by obstacles along the way. They are open to feedback and criticism. How can people grow if they do not take the time to listen and consider others’ opinions? Authentic leaders are emotionally intelligent, so they don’t let their pride get in the way. The skeptics say that an authentic leader may not be the best fit for many organizations. Leaders would have to adopt a persona when situations require it. There’s still an ongoing study of authentic leadership and its effectiveness in organizations. However, you are the best judge of what leadership style you should apply in your organization. If you possess the above traits, why not give it a try? If you do, it could turn out to be an excellent decision.

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My Holland

Your Career Can Affect your Children

A Bit of Worry is Good

Find the Authentic Leader in You

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