Positive Psychology

Achieve Your Goals: Write Yourself A “Hope Letter”

We’re now in the month of February, 2016. By this time achieving any of those New Year’s resolutions we all fastidiously made at the end of 2015 may be slowly fading from our consciousness and starting to settle in the dust bin of “here today and gone tomorrow” goals. According to a study conducted by the University of Scranton’s 2014 Journal of Clinical Psychology, about forty five percent (45%) of residents in the United States typically make New Year’s resolutions. But among these Americans, there is only an eight percent (8%) chance of anyone realizing their goals. The main reason for this was never cited, although most experts contend it has to do with the degree or intensity of a person’s resoluteness and persistence to pursue whatever it is they set their minds to achieve for themselves and for their loved ones. Is There A Better Way To Improve This Situation? And so, you just might be telling yourself … “Heck! There’s got to be a better way to make good, significant changes in my live!” And there is. The “Hope Letter” The Hope Letter is a simple uncomplicated exercise. It is powerful though. This stems from what C.R. Snyder, Ph.D. professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas developed and called the Hope theory. This says that by concentrating on three important elements, the achievement of goals happens. He identified these factors to be: Having a clear goal Having ways and means of achieving this goal Believing in your ability to reach this goal. Researchers have further revealed that persons who have high hopes are more likely to cope better with physical pain or life’s many frustrations. They also tend to be happier and more satisfied. Building on the work of mental health professionals, who, from as early as the 1950’s begun realizing the key role hope played in the achievement of dreams, some creative, smart executive coaches developed the Hope Letter. When we write down our hopes and dreams…when we write down the ways and means we shall achieve them, we, in fact, become more successful in making them come true. This hope letter has been used among these executive coaches’ clients and have been known to work. Here then are the easy-to-follow, step by step guide on making one: Put it down on paper. Write a letter addressed to yourself. Date it precisely one year into the future. Don’t put a limit on yourself. Take the time to imagine what the scenario will be if you achieved or accomplished all your goals. Take into consideration your job and career, your health and finances, your love-life, family and friends, fun and personal growth. Prompt yourself with “What do I hope to have accomplished this time in 2017?” You’ll need to be accountable for this. When you’re done with the letter, give it to a close friend, your wife or special girl, your coach or colleague and ask him/her to mail it back to you, one year from the date you wrote it. You can also send a digital letter on www.futureme.org, program it so you will receive it in one year!  Do this. When you get your letter back, you’ll be amazed at the number of things you shall have achieved, the reason being … when you set and write down your intentions, …your ways and methods of achieving them … your actions will naturally follow. Are all your goals … things you want to happen … do they happen, are they achieved? Not usually, but many do get realized. So, celebrate what you do achieve and learn from what you don’t and then write yourself another hope letter for the year ahead.

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True connections at work

Well-connected people with strong social relationships are healthier and happier. Close ties with family and friends provides us with support, self-worth and add meaning to our lives. Networking can help us feel as though we belong to something significant. So why then, does social media and an age of feeling constantly connected to hundreds of friends, sometimes leave us feeling lonely and isolated? The Internet era means that we can message friends in real time, see photos of a relative across the globe on Instagram and read your sister’s reaction to her favourite TV programme on Twitter, despite a physical distance between you. But technology doesn’t include the physical contact that benefits our well-being. While social media provides us with a network of social connections which has been shown to decrease mental illness as we get older, it is the quality of the social connections that are important. Humans are social beings, and this involves physical contact such as hugging, and seeing facial expressions face-to-face. Chris Peterson, one of the founders of positive psychology said “other people matter” but does the count of Facebook ‘friends’ or Twitter ‘followers’ equate to happiness? Take the example of Instagram star Essena O’Neill. The Australian had over 600k Instagram followers and carved her career via the social media site. She posted regular pictures for her followers to comment on. Recently she decided to quit social media and revealed some of the deceit and fakeness attached to her online world. Her social media connections were not friends and the world and career she had built was not making her happy. Taking action to strengthen our relationships and build meaningful connections is essential for happiness. Ways in which to work on the quality of your relationships, and not just the quantity include: Two-way support – giving and receiving Shared activities Openly talking about feelings Shared experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly While messaging online, sending a text message or talking over the phone means we can interact easily with friends and family, the quality of the interaction is important and investing in your relationships will help improve your health and wellbeing. Emails are often referred to as ‘single strand’ interactions, while face-to-face relationship involves a more complex interaction and body chemistry. Ways to boost this include a meal or drink with a friend, going to the cinema, shopping or a holiday to visit a friend who lives further away. Building more connections can include joining a networking group for your career, volunteering with a group, a new hobby or taking part in a protest. According the recent Emotional Needs Audit of the UK, by the Human Givens Institute, 24.1% of people did not feel emotionally connected to others, 34.8% did not feel connected to the wider community. Loneliness can make you unhappy, unhealthy and shorten your life, so take the time to invest in the people that are important to you.

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Weapon of mass distraction: lack of attention at work

Grabbing our attention in the workplace According to psychologist Tim Pychyl, author of Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, procrastination (or a lack of attention) is largely an emotional problem and the way we cope with stress when it kicks in. If business leaders want the best from their employees, they need to figure out the best ways to engage with them and grab their attention to make them more work focused and productive. This is no easy task, especially when we are given so many ways to distract us, such as technology. At the Boston Attention and Learning Lab in the US, cognitive neuroscientists Esterman and Joe DeGutis have developed a training programmed to help wandering minds to stay in the zone. This has proved especially helpful for those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), brain injuries and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Numerous studies have shown that we can train our brains to improve. Willpower and attention can be strengthened like a muscle, through exercises and practice. That’s the good news! The US training program targets the brain’s ‘dorsal attention network’, or the prefrontal cortex and the parietal cortex. The idea is to become ‘meta-aware’ and stop the mind from wandering by stimulating sections of the brain and working to train it to prolong this attention span. In a 2010 study, psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert of Harvard University conducted an attention and wellbeing experiment by interrupting people throughout the day to ask what they were doing and how happy they felt. Those day dreaming about something pleasant were only about the same level of happiness as when they were on task. Mind wandering can be a hindrance to productivity but even made people unhappy. Thomas Davenport and John Beck have studied attention management for many years. They have realised that attention is widely misunderstood among business leaders and that in the same way that industries such as advertising, print and TV capture and sustain our attention, so too should businesses in the workplace. This can be achieved in a number of ways, according to Davenport and Beck … Engage with emotion One of the most important ways to gain attention, but also sustain it, is to tap into the emotions of employees. Those who feel praised and recognised, will respond with improved concentration. Fear As primates, we are programmed to fear certain things. Business managers can tap in to this natural fight or flight reaction in small measures to hold our attention – a reward for hitting a deadline or pointing out cause and effect of project work, for example. Play on competitiveness People are naturally competitive and businesses can utilise this to capture and hold attention in the workplace. Engage, do not distract People are easily distracted, so do not throw too many tasks at one person if you want them to concentrate. Instead, help them feel engaged and able to focus on a task and then reward them before moving on to a new task or project. Personalisation A great way to grab attention is to personalise a message – this can be as simple as using an employee’s name in an email rather than copying in several employees. A happy and productive workplace needs to have focused staff. Grabbing the attention of staff and ensuring that this is sustainable, is crucial if you want results, and this often comes from the management end. Take the time to think about how you engage the attention of your employees – this part of your job might need some of your own attention!

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